Living in the “Vav” — Thankfulness in the Tension of Lament and Hope

In the spring of 2023, my wife was taking down a sign in front of our church when she fell and broke her foot. Two weeks later, our water heater broke. A couple of days after that, our A/C stopped working—and then our furnace broke, all within the same month.

It was… quite a moment in our lives, to say the least. We were hobbling through life (quite literally), thousands of dollars in unexpected expenses, wondering what could possibly go wrong next.

Paul reminds a group of first century believers to, “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). Really, Paul? In all circumstances? Even these?

What Thankfulness Isn’t

When we hear “give thanks in all circumstances,” it’s easy to think that means gritting our teeth, putting on a brave face, and pretending we’re fine. But I don’t think that’s what God has in mind for us.

The Psalms of Lament offer a better picture. They show us that thankfulness doesn’t mean faking it; it means bringing the full weight of our emotions to God.

A Psalm That Shows the Way

Psalm 13 is a great example. It’s only six verses long, but the first four verses are raw and heavy. David pours out his heart: He feels alone, he feels abandoned by God, his soul feels crushed, his enemies surround him.

David doesn’t hide how he feels – he expresses it fully. That’s what lament is: telling God the truth about what’s really going on inside you. It’s not only about informing Him of our situation, it’s involving Him in our emotions.

But then, verses 5 and 6 shift:

But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.

Here’s the key: David’s circumstances haven’t changed, his perspective has. He moves from complaint to trust. In Hebrew, that shift begins with a tiny letter: vav – a conjunction that can mean “and” or “but.” In many Psalms of Lament, vav marks the turning point from sorrow to hope.

Living in the Vav

That’s where I think we should live—right in the vav.

We don’t want to live in constant lament, but neither do we want to skip straight to optimism and ignore our pain. Instead, we live in the tension of both lament and hope.

As Christians, we live in the “already/not yet.” Jesus has come, the decisive victory is won, but the world is still broken. We acknowledge the pain, and we hold onto the promise.

Living in the vav means recognizing the world is deeply broken and full of loss and/but God is at work, and His redemption is certain.

How This Looked for Us

In that chaotic spring of 2023, I didn’t understand why everything seemed to be falling apart at once. But looking back now, I see a glimpse of God’s hand. As is often the case, it is easier to see God’s hand in the rearview mirror of life.

Up until then, my wife had been at home with our small kids. But the unexpected expenses forced us to make changes and she went back to work. It was hard at first, but it turned out to be one of God’s ways of preparing us for the next season of life.

We didn’t see it in the moment, but years later we could recognize His provision.

Now, that doesn’t mean we will always see, or even understand, why things happen. Sometimes we do, but often we may not.

If I Could Go Back

If I could speak to myself in 2023, I’d say:

“This is hard. Lament it fully. Bring it to God. But also, don’t lose sight of the fact that God is at work. You may not see how or why right now…but you can trust Him.”

We may not always see the good in our lifetime. But we live with the hope that one day God will make all things new.

And that, I believe, is when thankfulness is at its best—when we are honest about our pain and confident in God’s promises.

That’s the beauty of living in the vav.